Showing posts with label Advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Advice. Show all posts

Saturday, February 2, 2013

21st century.

A while back, I debated to pros and cons of reading actual books vs. e-readers. And while I still truly love reading a good old fashioned book, actually holding the book and flipping the pages and all the delights that come with that, I have made the switch.



And you know what? It's not so bad.

In fact, it's pretty great.

I am shocked to hear myself say that but as it turns out, there really is something to these e-readers. As someone who likes to have a book with me at all times, just in case, it can be sometimes cumbersome to carry around an actual book in my purse all the time. Especially if it's a longer book or a hard cover, my purse can get awfully heavy. My tiny little Nook fits nice and easily into my bag without adding a ton of weight. So that's a bonus.

My nook has a non-glared screen (unlike a computer) so it doesn't hurt my eyes if I choose to read for a long time. While it's still not the same as reading off an actual page, it's not as distracting as I thought it could be. I've made the transition to reading on a screen rather seamlessly, and the added bonus is that the Nook has a back light so if I don't have light access or I'm with others who've gone to bed, I can still read.

My other favorite part of having an e-reader is that I have constant access to my personal library. As of now, I have a whole list of books waiting for me to read. New books. When I was reading regular books I would sometimes finish a new book but then reread an old one or two while waiting to get to the library or waiting til I have money to purchase a new one. Now I have books delivered electronically and instantly, allowing me to ever expand my library. Plus with sites like Book Bub, I can get cheap or free books, really cutting down the cost of new reading materials.

So I've taken the plunge and joined the 21st century. and I'm quite enjoying it.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Review: Gunn's Golden Rules

Manners matter. Whether it's holding the door open for someone behind you, saying "bless you" when someone sneezes or simply following the golden rule, behaving kindly toward others should be second nature. And it's always welcome. I am always appreciative of someone who holds a door for me, offers me a seat or any other random act of kindness. I try to act in the same way. Of course I don't always succeed (I am human after all) but remembering your manners doesn't only make the person on the receiving end happy, it makes you happy too. When you make someone smile, you can't help but smile back, can you?

Well Tim Gunn is a big promoter of manners. As evidenced by the fact that he wrote Gunn's Golden Rules: Life's Little Lessons for Making it Work.




Now I have to say, I love Tim Gunn. I love watching him work with the designers on Project Runway and watching him champion them on, help them through tough times and offer advice.



Gunn's book sounds just like him. So much so that while reading it I heard his voice in my head reading the words to me. (Which, by the way, was hilarious.) I enjoyed this book. Not only is it an etiquette book, which is find an interesting topic here in the 21st century, but he also inadvertently offered me advice on life, dating and behaving in public.

This book is written in a clear and concise way without a lot of fluff and stuffing. it's easy to read and follow and the chapters flow well and tie in to each other pretty cohesively. I enjoyed hearing Gunn's thoughts on life and manners, and I was certainly amused throughout the book with his stories.

That being said, I was a little surprised by some of the stories. They painted some of fashion's most famous people in a rather harsh and unflattering light. At times, it felt a little bit like a bash session, gossiping over the water cooler about "Can you believe what she said?" and "Did you hear about he behaved?" I realize they were examples of people who feel overly entitled and let that get in the way of behaving well, and the stories were, of course, amusing. I just found it interesting.

Overall, I truly enjoyed Gunn's Golden Rules and I believe he had a lot of intelligent things to say. I also believe his advice is helpful and his suggestions are legit.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Eat, Pray, Love Favorite Quotes

In honor of Eat, Pray, Love the movie coming out this weekend I decided to take a look back at the novel and pull from it my favorite parts. This has become a very important book for me in terms of a place to go to for advice, an inspiration to live the way you want and to figure out how to do what you love. I've read and re-read it a couple of times now and it never ceases to amaze me (and make me a little jealous) of the year Elizabeth Gilbert had during the writing of Eat, Pray, Love. So here is a list of my favorite quotes- quotes I find funny, inspirational, full of advice and that really touched me.






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Tell the truth, tell the truth, tell the truth- Sheryl Louise Moller


This was my moment to look for the kind of healing and peace that can only come from solitude.

Go back to bed...because you don't need to know the final answer right now, at three o'clock in the morning on a Thursday in November. Go back to bed because the only thing you need to do right now is get some rest and take good care of yourself until you do know the answer. Go back to bed so that when the tempest comes you'll be strong enough to deal with it.

I was actually feeling kind of delighted about all the compartments of time and space that were appearing in my days, during which I could ask myself the radical new question, “What do you want to do today Liz?”

When I realized that the only question at hand was how do I define pleasure? and that I was truly in a country where people would permit me to explore that question freely, everything changed. Everything became delicious. All I had to do was ask myself every day for the first time in my life, “What would you enjoy doing today Liz? What would bring you pleasure right now?” With nobody else's agenda to consider and no other obligations to worry about, this question finally became distilled and absolutely self specific.

When I get lonely these days I think, so be lonely Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life, welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.

Moreover, I have boundary issues with men...to have issues with boundaries, one must have boundaries in the first place right? But I disappear into the person I love....if I love you, you can have everything. you can have my time, my devotion, my ass, my money, my family, my dog, my dogs money, my dogs time- everything......I will give you all this and more until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else. I do not relay these facts about myself with pride but this is how its always been.

There's a constant level of closeness that I really need from the person I love...but it just destroys me to not be able to count on that affection when I need it.

What are my choices to be? What do I believe that I deserve in this life? where can I accept sacrifice and where can I not?

It's for the best. I know it is. I'm choosing happiness over suffering, I know I am. I'm making space for the unknown future to fill up my life with yet to come surprises. 

Do not apologize for crying. Without this emotion we are only robots.

When you sense a faint potentiality for happiness after such dark times you must grab onto the ankles of that happiness and not let go until it drags you face-first out of the dirt. This is not selfishness, but obligation. You were given life. It is your duty and also your entitlement as a human being to find something beautiful within life no matter how slight.

When I ask my mind to rest in stillness it is astonishing how quickly it will turn 1. bored 2. angry 3. depressed 4. anxious or 5. all of the above. 

I was full of a hot powerful sadness and would have loved to burst into the comfort of tears but tried hard not to remembering something my guru once said- that you should never give yourself the chance to fall apart because when you do it becomes a tendency and it happens over and over again. you must practice staying strong instead.

Your problem is that you don't understand what the word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you then they leave. They tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so an new light could get in make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life...

That's your problem. You're wishing too much baby. You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone outta be.

You've got some serious control issues...You're a powerful woman and you're used to getting what you want out of life and you didn't get what you wanted in your last few relationships and its got you all jammed up. Your husband didn't behave the way you wanted and David didn't either. Life didn't go your way for once. And nothing pisses off a control freak more than life not goin' her way.

You gotta learn how to let go, Groceries. Otherwise you're gonna make yourself sick. Never gonna have a good night's sleep again. You'll just toss and turn forever beatin' yourself for being such a fiasco in life. “Whats wrong with me? How come i screw up all my relationships? Why am i such a failure?”

At some point...you gotta let go, sit silt, and allow contentment to come to you.
What I'm alarmed to find in meditation is that my mind is actually not that interesting a place after all. In actuality I really only think about a few things and I think about them constantly. I believe the official term is "brooding."

In our real lives we are constantly hopping around to adjust ourselves around discomfort- physical emotional and psychological- in order to evade the reality of grief and nuisance. Vipassana Meditation teaches that grief and nuisance are inevitable in this life but if you can plant yourself in stillness long enough you will in time experience the truth that everything both uncomfortable and love does eventually pass. I wondered whether it might serve me and those who are burdened with the task of loving me if I could learn to stay still and endure a bit more without always getting dragged along on the potholed road of circumstance.

Faith is a way of saying, “Yes i pre-accept the terms of the universe and i embrace in advance what i am presently incapable of understanding”...If faith were rational it wouldn't be, by definition, faith. Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face first and full speed into the dark.

Take the time to heal but don't forget to eventually share your hear with someone.

To meditate only you must smile. Smile with your face smile, with your mind, and good energy will come to you and clean away dirty energy. Even smile with your liver.



He says, “Dude- why is life and crazy like this?”

I keep remembering one of my guru's teachings about happiness. She says that people universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck something that will descend upon you like fine weather if you're fortunate enough. But that's not how happiness works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it.....And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it.

Wayan ticked off on her fingers the six elements of her fail-proof broken heart curing treatment: Vitamin E, get much sleep, drink much water, travel to a place far away from the person you loved, meditate and teach your hear that this is destiny.

What is this life? Do you understand? I don't.

Do you think any of us know what were doing? Do you think there's any ways humans can love each other without complication?...It's still two human beings trying to get along so its going to become complicated. And love is always complicated. But still humans must try to love each other, darling. We must get our hearts broken sometimes. This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we tried for something.

It is strange and true that sometimes intense emotion can cause us to respond to cataclysmic news in exactly the opposite manner logic might dictate. This is absolute value of human emotion- joyful events can sometimes register on the Richter scale as pure trauma and dreadful grief makes us sometimes burst out laughing.

have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential....many times in romance I have been the victim of my own optimism.

To lose balance sometimes for love is part of living a balanced life.

Why am I worrying about this, by the way? What have I not yet learned about the futility of worry?


What's your favorite quote? Have a quote you like that I missed? Leave a comment!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Influences


I didn't start off wanting to be a writer. I actually started off in sociology. Then theatre. But it was while I was doing an off-campus study in college that I realized how much fun writing is. Especially about the arts. I didn't want to be directly involved (I realized just how hard being an actress is and how it's so not for me) I could write about it. And I loved that even more.

Lately I've been reading a ton. Partly because I love getting lost in stories and partly because I work at a job where I have time to read. But I have been just devouring books.

Not that long ago, I read Elizabeth Gilbert's memoirs Eat, Pray, Love and Committed. Eat, Pray, Love was read while I was going through a very painful breakup and it struck such a
cord with me that I felt Gilbert was somehow, through her own journey, helping me along mine. On almost every page I found advice or just a simple thought to mull over. I came out of this memoir feeling a little more settled and one step closer to moving on. After that I couldn't not read about her next journey and hope that she would further help me along in mine.

While on my own journey I discovered my new passion for writing book reviews. It hit me one day- I can combine the two things I love most: reading and writing. Since then I've been reviewing almost everything I've read. Here is my review of Eat, Pray, Love and Committed:

When writer Elizabeth Gilbert's world began to unravel she did what she does best to put it back in working order- she travelled and she wrote about it. Both Eat, Pray, Love and, most recently, Committed, chronicle Gilbert's search to discover what truly makes her happy and how to come to terms with and survive what she is most averse to in her life.

I know I'm a tad behind on the phenomenon that was Eat, Pray, Love when it first came out, I still believe it holds relevance and is just as worth discussing now, especially in light of her second memoir being recently published.

One thing to keep in mind when entering into these books
is that they do tend to run on the side of self-indulgent. Gilbert comments in her intro, “I did not anticipate that those readers would enjoy a rather emotional first-person chronicle about a divorced woman’s quest for psycho-spiritual healing. I hope they would be generous enough, though to understand, that I had needed to write that book for my own personal reasons, and maybe everyone would let it slide…” (Committed). I don't necessarily see this as a negative aspect, but more of just a fact worth noting. Going into it, it's obvious Gilbert wrote these books to work out personal dilemmas in her own life, and therefore uses the pages of her memoirs to delve into personal thoughts and ideas. She even admits at times in the novel
that she wrote these books for the purpose of working things out and I believe that if you begin these novels with that notion in mind it shouldn't be something to get too hung up on.

This is especially true because Gilbert is so accessible. It's simple for a reader to begin to relate to what Gilbert goes through and to sympathize and/or empathize. Gilbert's witty writing style and entertaining anecdotes are also effective at pulling the reader into her world. While spending time in Laos, she and her fiancĂ©, Felipe, visit their tour guide’s home and meet his family. They learn about the tradition of marriage in Laos while having a wonderful time making new friends. The reader can begin to feel as if they are travelling around the globe with Gilbert and can vicariously experience all she went through (both the good and the bad).

Not only does Gilbert provide plenty of entertainment but education as well. It's clear she did her homework, investigating the history and facts of everything from various types of Indian meditations to the tradition of marriage throughout the ages as she quotes from various books she’s read and research she’s done. The reader comes away from these memoirs having learned new about relatively common practices and it can be appreciated that Gilbert made herself an expert on these subjects before imparting wisdom about them to others.

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with Gilbert in both Eat, Pray, Love and Committed. Both memoirs were a pleasure to read and I enjoyed being allowed to tag along with Gilbert as she took her literal and emotional trips around the globe.